Endearing Relationships

I think these pictures are precious! I'm looking forward to many more such pictures after baby's born!

I work with this special needs girl. She's been labeled autistic, but she's got more than just autism going on. According to the State, I provide behavioral care services. What exactly that means, I'm not sure, but she runs the show and she and I clicked, so I was hired for the job. She's comes to my house and hangs out with me 2 - 3 times a week. She has severe anxiety disorder, so we're limited in what we can do. At first, I wasn't sure how she'd deal with Corey or any of the other people who live in my house. But Corey is laid back and unassuming, and it didn't take too long for her to decide she liked this guy.

She was at my house a few days ago and talking up a storm (not a usual occurrence). In the midst of her rambling, she walks over to me and says "Keelie, I miss you," then gives me this kiss and I answer back, "I love you." Then she walks right over to Corey and says, "I love you Corey." I got teary eyed while he just smiled; I think he wasn't sure what to do.:) Now, you'd have to know this little girl to understand how huge this truly was! And perhaps one day when Corey hears this coming from his own children, he won't be so taken off guard. Physical or verbal affection has not always been easy for him, but he's come a long way!

I'm looking forward to watching many endearing moments in the future!

Humbled

So, at the end of the school year, I was laid off. This really took me for a loop! Here I am pregnant, Corey's still in school, etc. We had originally wanted to wait till this summer to become pregnant. Our thinking - get Corey out of school and into a good job, have the due date be near the end of the school year... I guess God had other plans, and I eventually came around. I was reading one of my pregnancy books the other day and it was saying how many woman may initially have not wanted to become pregnant at the time, but then are secretly glad that it has finally happened. I think this was me. In my head, I was being logical about the timing, but I had been obsessing about babies and becoming pregnant for awhile. So anyway... back to my layoff. With the layoff comes the discontinuation of insurance...August 31. Great! My insurance won't even cover me through the delivery! And Cobra is $845/month! So, our option - Medicaid. I started filling out the paperwork a few weeks back, but hadn't sent it in yet and wasn't sure I was doing it right. So yesterday, I found a lady to help me with it at our Muskegon Family Care Center. From there I went to the WIC office.

Everyone keeps telling me that these programs are there for people like me -working class that can't quite make it on their own. I know this...in my head. But yesterday was sooo hard for me - I called Corey when I was finished with everything and just started crying. Why was it so hard?

I think there's prejudice within social class. I always think of prejudice being racial, but this new experience has opened my eyes.

We talk about the poor in church all the time! Blessed are the poor. We even took some of the youth down to Mexico, a poverty-stricken area. Corey told us we needed to view the poor there as our masters and we their servants.

Most of us don't consider ourselves poor; at least not truly in the sense of the stereotype that comes to mind when we hear that word. I still don't at all consider myself poor - I'm not! I own a house, two cars, have money in the bank... But I find myself signing up for Medicaid and WIC - two things I've always thought were for the "poor." For "those other people." I realized yesterday that I have an "us, them" complex. I found I didn't want to be sitting in those places filling out any of those papers!
So I guess I'm learning something about myself - not something admirable either.:( God truly does have a purpose for everything, and I think right now he's humbling me and helping me to see that I need to change some of my thinking, attitude - my heart. Of course...what's new?!

Precious Hand

Ultrasound #2 - 20 weeks (5 months) - my response:

Baby of Mine, You're soo precious to me! You poke me all the time now and it makes me laugh and think how sweet you are! Your daddy felt you twice last week Sunday, May 6th. I was so excited for him to finally experience a little bit of what I feel all the time!
We went to the doctor yesterday, May 11th, for another ultrasound. It's so wonderful to see you inside me! I guess you decided, though, that you didn't want mommy to have a very good picture of you, 'cause you were turned towards my back and mostly all we saw of you was your spinal cord and your head. But, when we first started looking at you, you "waved" at us. We got the most perfect picture of your little hand - I think you may have been sucking on your thumb a couple times. You're adorable! After our doctor's appt., I went to Grand Rapids to a really huge book sale and bought you all kinds of fun books! I'm so excited to meet you!

Father, thank you that baby looked very healthy in the ultrasound images! Please continue to watch over baby's growth and health. Father, thank you soo much for this beautiful gift you've given Corey and me! Help us to be the kind of parents that you are!
In Jesus' Name!

My Beautiful Baby

Here's my response to seeing baby for the first time (almost 11 weeks):

Oh Baby, You are beautiful! Absolutely precious! Your dad and I went to the doctor today to have an ultrasound. Your mom was miserable with a full bladder, but it was completely worth seeing you! I couldn't believe what I was seeing when the technician pointed you out on the screen! Amazing! When she focused in on you, I couldn't keep from smiling the whole time! I giggled when you got squirmy and swam around. My eyes filled with tears as I contemplated the miracle that your dad and I have created!
I have sent out your pictures to friends and family. I can't wait to show those close by!
You are beautiful and I love you!

Father, you who have put this baby in me - please hold him/her in your hand. Continue to grow baby and keep baby healthy and safe, please!
Father, continue to work in me to make me the mom I need to be for my baby! I love baby and I love you! Thank you for this precious, tiny miracle!
In Jesus' Name!

Here I Go!

Well, this is my first attempt at blogging. Thanks to a dear friend of mine (Mikaela):), I will now try to keep all who care updated on my current family and my little one on the way.

So, this is me at 7 months. Looking a little grumpy due to having already fallen asleep on the couch. Most people know it's not a good idea to awaken me at night!

The pregnancy has gone very well, albeit it is quite uncomfortable at times! But I can't complain too much.

Baby continues to grow and get stronger! I think he/she is doing gymnastics in there sometimes!:)

Hopefully I'll keep up with this! We shall see...:)