Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Humbled

So, at the end of the school year, I was laid off. This really took me for a loop! Here I am pregnant, Corey's still in school, etc. We had originally wanted to wait till this summer to become pregnant. Our thinking - get Corey out of school and into a good job, have the due date be near the end of the school year... I guess God had other plans, and I eventually came around. I was reading one of my pregnancy books the other day and it was saying how many woman may initially have not wanted to become pregnant at the time, but then are secretly glad that it has finally happened. I think this was me. In my head, I was being logical about the timing, but I had been obsessing about babies and becoming pregnant for awhile. So anyway... back to my layoff. With the layoff comes the discontinuation of insurance...August 31. Great! My insurance won't even cover me through the delivery! And Cobra is $845/month! So, our option - Medicaid. I started filling out the paperwork a few weeks back, but hadn't sent it in yet and wasn't sure I was doing it right. So yesterday, I found a lady to help me with it at our Muskegon Family Care Center. From there I went to the WIC office.

Everyone keeps telling me that these programs are there for people like me -working class that can't quite make it on their own. I know this...in my head. But yesterday was sooo hard for me - I called Corey when I was finished with everything and just started crying. Why was it so hard?

I think there's prejudice within social class. I always think of prejudice being racial, but this new experience has opened my eyes.

We talk about the poor in church all the time! Blessed are the poor. We even took some of the youth down to Mexico, a poverty-stricken area. Corey told us we needed to view the poor there as our masters and we their servants.

Most of us don't consider ourselves poor; at least not truly in the sense of the stereotype that comes to mind when we hear that word. I still don't at all consider myself poor - I'm not! I own a house, two cars, have money in the bank... But I find myself signing up for Medicaid and WIC - two things I've always thought were for the "poor." For "those other people." I realized yesterday that I have an "us, them" complex. I found I didn't want to be sitting in those places filling out any of those papers!
So I guess I'm learning something about myself - not something admirable either.:( God truly does have a purpose for everything, and I think right now he's humbling me and helping me to see that I need to change some of my thinking, attitude - my heart. Of course...what's new?!

11 comments:

Keelie said...

I guess you're right Ben.:)Perhaps some of my random thoughts will make it onto this blog after all; without even a picture to go along!:)

Mark said...

don't know what BHB said but I too appreciate your random thoughts. I also can appreciate your humility in having to be doing something you never thought you would need to do. America's economic system is designed to work for either two income families or one income if that is a rather high one. My family fits in neither category. Sometimes getting help from the system is the only option. On a lighter note-thanks for sharing some of your personal life online. Seeing "behind the scenes" always helps put our own problems in perspective.

toby said...

I call it like this: I have been paying into these services for the last two decades (almost) so why not take back from it when/if I need to?

The truth of the matter is: I AM POOR so I DO NEED help. My mom always said the hardest thing about needing money is asking for it...

Speaking of mom's: I saw yours and your grandma (the Puritan one) at China One the other night. Awkward...

Baby Hates Bunnies said...

I told you! And guess what! You're going to be winning space captains in no time. Nice post.

Mark said...

Your grandparents are Pilgrims?!! Cool!! Did they come over on the Mayflower?! Do they wear those tall black belt buckle hats? I wonder if they have ever burned a witch...? Blogging rule #1 Keelie: it's ok to tell Mark he's so full of crap(or Corey, or Toby, or BHB when appropriate) And someday you should probably learn how to swear-but only on Corey's blog-cause no one reads his.

watchman said...

My baby's mama is on welfare?

I feel like I should do something about this, but one of my lifelong dreams has been to be a deadbeat dad. So, I guess I'm no help.

Mark said...

I've always envied people who see their lifelong dreams realized. Was it also one of your lifelong dreams to be a Fundamentalist Jack Hyles loving Baptist preacher?

Keelie said...

Thanks guys! Appreciate the comments - serious and silly! This blogging thing is kind of fun!:)

jennie said...

good for you, doing what you need to do for your family. shame on anyone who says otherwise. besides now you can load up on those expensive fruits and veggies.

Baby Hates Bunnies said...

At this rate Corey, you're gonna be on Cops. Getting chased and handcuffed in your underwear with that big blur over your face.

And I'll be able to say I knew him when...

Mark said...

Then WE can answer that big question for him--boxers or briefs?