My husband was asked for his resignation from our church this Monday. I did not see this coming! I always thought Corey would be the one to decide when it was time to leave.
The last few months, I've felt such a strong sense of family there! I've been attending the church for over 5 years now and Corey's been associate pastor for 3. I think Corey's talked about being done ever since he started, and there were times I was ready to leave as well. Funny thing is, he was finally feeling like things were really going well and I was feeling like I could never leave the family that I've found. And then this...
I'm utterly lost! I balled my eyes out Monday night, felt kind of numb yesterday and balled again tonight at youth group. I feel like I'm losing my family! I am.
The youth seemed lost after hearing the news, and it breaks my heart!
I've done a lot of moving and gone through many changes, many churches since college. Each change was made smoothly, with an anticipation of the adventure. Saying good-bye was always sad, but not too difficult. Perhaps that's how it is when you're young and single.
But I've gone through the most changes in my life just since I've been at Bethel. Changes spiritually, theologically, and personally. I got married in that church, became "the wife of the associate pastor", met one of my best friends, had my first baby... I can't believe how much of my life has happened in that church!
And I don't want to start over. I'm not that young, single girl anymore. I was perfectly content with my life, and now my life has been thrown topsy-turvy.
God has a plan. He has to. But he never makes sense! At first anyway.
It hurts. It hurts real bad. And it makes me think that as a wife of a man in ministry, I should keep my relationships shallow, because inevitably you'll leave the church at some point, and with it all those friendships. Maybe you don't have to leave all the friendships, but it's just not the same when you no longer are working side by side with a common goal.
I love my Bethel family. I truly don't know what I'm going to do without them.