Sunday, December 2, 2007

Closure

I struggled with what to do today. Do I go to church and cross paths with people who believe my husband is a heretic? At the same time, there are so many deep relationships I have there and I can't just never see them again.

I ended up going, took Caedmon with me and left Corey at home, for understandable reasons. I felt disloyal to him, going back to the place that has ultimately rejected him, mingling with people that believe slanderous things about him. And I hurt for him! I wish I could take the pain away! I'm mad! I wish I could make people see the person I know and love for what he really is!

I sat with a dear friend and balled through communion and the last songs. I cried for Corey. I cried for the loss of my family there. I cried over the history and memories made in that church.

Services ended and I continued to cry as different people came up and hugged me. It was good to let the tears flow and let people love me!

We had a potluck after services and it was good to sit with my friends, my family and just converse and laugh about nothing in general.

It may be my last Sunday there. I'm not sure I have the energy to go through another Sunday like today.

As I sat in the meeting this afternoon in which Pastor informed the people of Corey's resignation, it just felt like rejection. He cried and I know he loves us, but asking for a resignation because of a "gut feeling" just feels yucky. I wish reasons given were not so vague. But I guess I can't change it.

I didn't say good-bye - I could not have. But I was embraced by many dear friends and I hope the healing process can begin.

11 comments:

Philip said...

That whole situation really sucks. I only know what I've read from different blogs but I'm sorry it's happening. I hope everything works out as good as it can and I love you guys.

Fireball McFain said...

Love you, Keelie

watchman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keelie said...

Thanks guys - love you too!

P.S. Watchman didn't post a comment - it was me and I forgot I was logged in under his account.

partner said...

Love you too, Keelie. My prayer is that the only one who can truly comfort you, as you both work through this time, makes Himself vey clear to you. When you feel most alone, Keelie(Corey), know that He is there with you. He has carried me through many , many tough times --trust Him.

Mark said...

Love you too, Keelie.

Keelie said...

You all are awesome!:)

amy said...

Keelie, hey I feel for you. I had to leave during communion, I just could not partake while I was so angry at people around me. It just felt so wrong. Keith talked with pastor, and I think I need too also, I just can not stand the two facedness ( not a word I know). We Love you! ~Amy

Philip said...

Hey Keelie. I'm must have messed something up when I gave you my address. So anyway here it is again-125 W. Houghton Lake drive Apt. 1 Prudenville, MI 48651. How are you doing? Better I hope.

Keelie said...

Phil, thanks - I'll try again.
I'm doing o.k. It might be rough for a little while, but it'll get better. How are YOU doing? Love you. E-mail me: kew1_ntc@hotmail.com.

jennie said...

Keelie, I have been thinking and praying about you guys. I am sorry I haven't been able to call. I don't even know what i do with my time.
love ya.