Closure

I struggled with what to do today. Do I go to church and cross paths with people who believe my husband is a heretic? At the same time, there are so many deep relationships I have there and I can't just never see them again.

I ended up going, took Caedmon with me and left Corey at home, for understandable reasons. I felt disloyal to him, going back to the place that has ultimately rejected him, mingling with people that believe slanderous things about him. And I hurt for him! I wish I could take the pain away! I'm mad! I wish I could make people see the person I know and love for what he really is!

I sat with a dear friend and balled through communion and the last songs. I cried for Corey. I cried for the loss of my family there. I cried over the history and memories made in that church.

Services ended and I continued to cry as different people came up and hugged me. It was good to let the tears flow and let people love me!

We had a potluck after services and it was good to sit with my friends, my family and just converse and laugh about nothing in general.

It may be my last Sunday there. I'm not sure I have the energy to go through another Sunday like today.

As I sat in the meeting this afternoon in which Pastor informed the people of Corey's resignation, it just felt like rejection. He cried and I know he loves us, but asking for a resignation because of a "gut feeling" just feels yucky. I wish reasons given were not so vague. But I guess I can't change it.

I didn't say good-bye - I could not have. But I was embraced by many dear friends and I hope the healing process can begin.